Cortez and The RPG Gamer take Nickelodeon is a story and movie by The RPG Gamer which is based on a true story that really happened. It has aired in cinemas on November 15 2017. The plot is similar to that of King Henry V where Cortez encourages his gang to take down Nickelodeon for canceling a hoard of shows. The name is a parody of The MLP episode Rarity takes Manehattan which is a parody of the 1989 slasher film Jason Takes Manhattan. A video game will also be released on this on January 1 2018.
Plot (so far)
The movie starts out showing Earth then it zooms down to The RPG Gamer's mansion. The RPG Gamer is at his house watching the Thundermans while playing his 3DS. He is really enjoying himself eating cake and fries from McDonalds. He then decided to check out the release of the future episodes and then finds out that there's only a few more to go. He gets very angry upon seeing this screams, shouts, let's it all out and smashes glass. He then goes to the Beach Sewer and talks with Cortez about the cancellation, they come up with a plan to fuel a war with Nickelodeon and they the call their friends and assemble them at Bella Portofino Function Center. Cortez then says as speech to the whole gang.
Cortez The Pirate King:
Okay amigos, I know most, if not all of you, are angry about the fact how The Thundermans was cancelled. I know for a fact that our good amigo here The RPG Gamer, is very furious as he missed his chance to meet his crush Addison Riecke. A few other amigos such as Jacqueline, Robert, Henry, Samantha and our Koopa Bro. friends, among many others here, are also angry as well that they missed out on seeing these special effects used in the show. The show from what I read online said that the contracts state 5 seasons as long as the ratings are good and the ratings are much higher than all the shows on the joint. Nickelodeon has had a very bad history of constantly cancelling shows because they think it’s right. With Victorious, it was so-so but then it got out of control. It’s up to us to put a stop to all this craziness so I will be making a speech about the whole plan to encourage us all. Courtesy to our good amigo The RPG Gamer once again for thinking of this.
Okay amigos! So what we’re going to do is board my ship and speed all the way to America, it should take us an hour to get there. We will infiltrate the Paramount Pictures and get our revenge on those Nickelodeon jerks for cancelling our number one show. They won’t be expecting our attack as we kick their door in. We all have many different attacks but they probably have strong allies, so we’d better be careful. We need to do this battle for the sake of Nickelodeon. I mean, we still have our amigos on Henry Danger but those enemigo's might get take down that show too. We need to stop this now! If we don’t, we will probably be stuck with cartoons like ‘Spongebob’, as much as i like it, ‘Loud House’, ‘Fairly OddParents’, ‘Harvey Beaks’, ‘Pig, Goat Banana, Cricket’. Worst of all a show I don’t think should even exist! I already know 95% of you agree with me and the other 5% must hate the show but it just doesn’t get to you. That show is ‘Bunsen is a Beast’.
We need to get these excellent actors and actresses their jobs back! If ‘My Little Pony’ can go on for 7 seasons, as of now, and ‘Tom and Jerry’ can go on for nearly a century, just to be clear it’s still running, then all these shows can have a very long run too! Who cares if it exceeds the amount of episodes ‘iCarly’ has, you are supposed to want to beat the record not keep it the same this is some of the most flawed logic in the history of flawed logic. We can’t let them get away with this crap! So we need to go in there, we will give it our all, we need to take them down and win this battle. They have security and maybe some cops but we have our mighty power and we can destroy their phones.
As soon as we enter Paramount Pictures, I want you to get yourselves pumped up and angry to fight! Get your faces angry and scary-looking by changing your expression into something evil that will scare our enemigo’s and see how serious we really are. Make all your families proud, with their support you will get much stronger for this upcoming battle. I know they would have done the same for their favourite shows and they believe in you all. We will prove ourselves to The Thundermans and all the other lost shows and we shall bring justice to them. LETS GO AMIGO’S! This is it, prepare yourselves amigo’s I can see we’re all ready to go angry and excited. As soon as you see those Nickelodeon enemigo’s I want you to scream, “God for Thundermans, television and the future of Nickelodeon!”
End of speech.
The Big Battle
Cortez rallies up his friends as they all board Bowser’s Gangster Car known as The Koopa King. They drive down the street all the way to the Wollongong Beach (where Cortez’s Ship is docked). They play loud rap music along the way and go at very high speed sending some kids in shock (being all like “awesome!”) and making other younger kids (especially babies) scared to the point of crying because the car was so big and the music (Shawty Get Loose by LI’l Mama (the old Nicki Minaj), Chris Brown, and T-Pain) was so loud.
The RPG Gamer and Bandy Andy got into a conversation about gaming while Jacqueline and Fawfulthegreat64 talked about which Mario games are better. Jacqueline stated she likes Mario Kart 8 and that she likes Yoshi and FTG64 said he wants Fawful to appear. As they parked the car near the Cannons near the Lighthouse, they all walked down to the Boat Dock area unintentionally scaring some children walking with their parents along the way because they were such a large group. The tough gang boarded the Ship and Cortez set the Ship out to sail and made it go at an incredibly fast speed all the way to LA.
By 11:02 PM (Australian time), they arrived in LA and all headed off to the rental car shuttle in a big group. They paid with the big amount of money they had and drove off all the way to paramount pictures using a GPS and listening to songs like Down on me by DJ Mustard, Ty Dolla Sign, and 2-Chainz). They drove past Sunset blvd and continued cranking the music as Cortez beeped the cars in front continuously.
The tough gang drove into Paramount Pictures and busted the gates down and Cortez did a major burn-out in the car park before knocking one of the parked cars away as there was no parking left. Cortez said to his gang “Alright amigos, are you ready. The fate of Nickelodeon is in our hands. Are you prepared?” The squad replied “YES!” Cortez continued with “Good, that’s the right attitude we mustn’t give up if we lose Nickelodeon will remain a pithole without Thundermans and who knows what horrible fate awaits us so amigos, LET’S GO IN!” they all shouted “Yes Cortez.” The squad all entered following Cortez in.
They encountered some security guards who asked “WHO ARE YOU?!” Cortez replied we are The Legion of Doom. The security guards asked “Do you have a ticket?” and Cortez replied “No but listen amigo, we need to get in there and “talk” with your boss.” He said “ Well if you guys don’t have a ticket then GET THE HELL OUT! and look at you all, some of you aren’t even human wtf.” The RPG Gamer replied with “You heard the guy chump, we aren’t going anywhere so YOU get out jerk!” The security guard replied with “That’s it y’all, c’mere.” He tried to grab some of them but Cortez summoned a few Embers to immobilize him and the whole gang tackled him down knocking him unconscious and punting him out of the castle-like studio. Cortez then said “C’mon amigos now that he’s outta the way let’s head on up to where the Nickelodeon ememigos are.”
The who gang followed after him and they made their way up surprise attacking some security guards and knocking them down the stairs so they could have an easier time making their way up without any issues. They entered the top office (which was massive) by kicking their door in and Cortez gave them the cue and Philip, Robert, Nathan, Jacqueline, Henry and Samantha, Mario, Luigi, SMG4, Woody, SML, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Timothy, Tim, Ethan, Tom, Nathaniel, Bowser, Bowser Jr, Goombella, Koops, Flurrie, Yoshi Kid, Vivian, Bobbery, Ms Mowz, Kersti, Huey, Dafawfulizer, Freezeflame 22 :P, MetalBlade5, Bandy Andy, Pete KP, Paper Mario, Fawfulthegreat64, Fawful’s Minion, The Black Eye Alien, Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong, Wario and Waluigi, Tori, Mel, Chef Pee Pee, The Stormtrooper, Loan Dolphin, Jacob, Daniel, Alex, Jake, Tobey, Marcus, Brodie, Kris, Some Cool Swag Guys, and the Bro Army (Hammer Bros, Boomerang Bros, Ice Bros, Fire Bros, Bomb Bros, Gold Bros, Sledge Bros, Sumo Bros, the Paper Hammer Bros and said bros in Paper form). all shouted “GOD FOR THUNDERMANS TELEVISION AND FUTURE OF NICKELODEON!!”
The Nickelodeon creators replied with “Who are you and what are you doing here?” Jacqueline replied with “Word is we’ve come to fight with you losers about you cancelling The Thundermans.” The Nickelodeon opposition replied with “Sorry but that’s not up for discussion right now so if you don’t mind get out, we’re busy thinking about when to cancel Henry Danger.” Fawfulthegreat64 replied with “I want to tell you this in the calmest way possible but please stop cancelling shows with perfect story and developed characters okay it’s wrong.” One of the Nickelodeon men replied with “How about no.” Nathan replied with “Aren’t we going to start the battle?” and Robert said to him “Shut up Nathan!” one of the Nickelodeon men was like “Oh so you want to start a battle with us, well you’ve left us no choice SECURITY?!” Henry replied with “Sorry but we already took out all your security guards earlier on.”
The Nickelodeon people said “Well then let’s just call our bodyguards.” Their bodyguards came in and grunted at Cortez and his army. Cortez said to his army “Let’s go amigos!” Cortez and the rest of the army fought the bodyguards as the Nickelodeon people hid in the closet. Before the battle began they all said once again “GOD FOR THUNDERMANS TELEVISION AND FUTURE OF NICKELODEON!!” and then the battle began as Cortez and his army lashed out at the bodyguards.
Cortez used his hook, his sword, his budget knife, and Embers to attack them. The RPG Gamer used his supernova moves from his phones and stuff to attack the bodyguards, Robert and Nathan both hurt the bodyguards with their basketballs, Jacqueline used her Star Bit Glasses to turn their weapons and muscles into Star Bits and whacked them, Henry and Samantha used their fists and legs to do light whacks to them, Mario, Luigi, and SMG4 used their jumps, hammers, and spin attacks as well as other super moves to hurt the bodyguards. Woody did the same things as Mario, Luigi, and SMG4 as well as lassoing the bodyguards with his rope and putting a sack over their heads. SML threw some plush toys and puppets at the bodyguards.
Rarity used her magic to hurt the bodyguards as Pinkie Pie used some confetti to confuse them and kick them with her back legs. Thimothy, Tim, Ethan, Tom, and Nathaniel all beat up one of the bodyguards so hard. Bowser roasted one of the bodyguards with his flame breath as his son Bowser Jr. damaged some bodyguards with his weapons, Goombella headonked one of the bodyguards, Koops shell tossed one of them, Flurrie body slammed another one of the bodyguards, Yoshi Kid ate one of the bodyguards and spat him out at another bodyguard, Vivian used her fiery jinx to roast some of the bodyguards, Bobbery exploded in one of the bodyguard’s face, Ms. Mowz slapped one of the bodyguards. Kersti used her stickiness to make one of the bodyguards sticky and stick them to a high wall of the studio on the outside. Huey covered one of the bodyguards in paint and hurt him, Dafawfulizer slapped one of the bodyguards and kicked them, Freezeflame22 froze and burnt one of the bodyguards and MetalBlade5 used his metal blade on one of the bodyguards, Bandy Andy kicked one of the bodyguards in the groin as Pete KP shell jumped another.
Paper Mario jumped on one of the bodyguards giving them a paper cut, Fawfulthegreat64 used his Fawful-like powers from the RPGs to impact one of the bodyguards, Fawful’s Minion used his powerfulness to smash one of the bodyguards so hard. The Black Eye Alien used his laser-eye to hurt some of the bodyguards, Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong used their fists and kicks to hurt the bodyguards so bad, Wario and Waluigi gave the bodyguards some hard punches. Tori and Mel whacked the bodyguards with their umbrella and stomped them too. Chef Pee Pee used several shockwaves to hurt the bodyguards, The Stormtrooper shot one of the bodyguards, The Loan Dolphin broke one of the bodyguards legs and damaged him, Jacob Daniel, Alex, Jake, Tobey, Marcus, Brodie, and Kris grabbed one of the bodyguards and hung him upside down by the leg and punched him like a piñata.
The cool swag guys used their swag powers to damage some bodyguards, and the Bro Army used their respective weapons to take out the remaining bodyguards. After the defeat of all of the bodyguards, Cortez opened the door where the Nickelodeon leaders were hiding and they were just about to call the police but the squad smashed their phones and Cortez allowed his gang to beat them up. The camera zoomed out as they beat up the Nickelodeon opposition and gang banged them and they grabbed the Nickelodeon peoples’ unconscious (but not dead) bodies alongside the security guards and bodyguards, and threw them in the garbage bins and what’s better was that it was garbage day so the garbage truck came at that moment and dumped the whole Nickelodeon opposition all in and drove off.
Cortez and his gang then became the new owners of Nickelodeon and revived all the cancelled shows and banned their enemies from coming in and never cancelled another show unless requested. Cortez then said to his army “We did it amigos, our hard work has paid off once again I am proud of you all!” they all thanked him and celebrated with some cake, ribs, fries, candy, burgers, cookies, steak, and much more.
- Cortez (Gang Leader)
- The RPG Gamer
- Henry and Samantha
- Mario, Luigi, and SMG4
- Pinkie Pie
- Bowser and Bowser Jr.
- Yoshi Kid
- Ms. Mowz
- Freezeflame22 :P
- Bandy Andy
- Pete KP
- Paper Mario
- Fawful's Minion
- The Black Eye Alien
- Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong
- Chef Pee Pee
- A Stormtrooper
- Loan Dolphin
- Some Cool Swag Guys
- The Bro Army (Hammer Bros. Boomerang Bros. Ice Bros. Fire Bros. Bomb Bros. Gold Bros. Sledge Bros. Sumo Bros. Paper Hammer Bros. and said bros in paper form).